I COOK! SO, I RETURNED TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME! It’s not even about guilt or innocence of what we (choose) to eat; but well, the question is, “CAN YOU PAY BAIL?”
Um telling you! GENERAL TSAO’s CHICKEN, twice in a week! See, now, that’s how you get caught...up! Yup, when it’s that good! Oh, I feel you! Truly, not even try’na (be the) judge nor jury! Obsession can be a dangerous..thang! I know this; I still got the tang of THAT SAUCE on my tongue! You hear me, I AM DONE! I know I’m going down...for this one! #IfWeMustEat
And, this time, oh, I put my foot in it! Left a big azz blue print, the stain of cooking juices all over my clothes, the scent of fresh herbs linger on my fingers! I just couldn’t get it out of My Mind! Truth be told, and don’t you go blab’n, but, I Doubled My Crime...EXTRA chicken (boneless thighs), freshly-graded garlic & ginger, fresh-squeezed oranges, fresh-chopped scallions & herbs, molasses, rice wine vinegar, sesame & peanut oils, soy, red hot peppers, in addition to Grannie’s Hot Pepper-Ginger purée, OMG, sent my taste buds through the roof! And I mean, I landed harrrd! You hear me, bent! And, and, I only spent $20 between the chicken & herbs. Duh, I hide my weapons in The Pantry! So, no, you can’t see ALL I DO - FOR YOU!
Guilty of doing too much! When will I learn? GRANNIE was concerned, this time, I’d gone too far! For, I bare the paring knife scars! And now, look at me, in a proverbial straight jacket, keep'n my cool (try'n hard to resist the ready-made, processed food package), act’n the culinary fool! Nobody’s but me and my DNA screaming out the injustices of anything but SOME REAL, FRESH, HOMEMADE, I mean, GOOD FOOD! #TheGoodFoodLady
SO, BEFORE I SHARE MY RECIPE WITH YOU, I’ll have to read you your humane rights! ..., You have the right to remain in good health! Anything you eat can and will be used against you if witnessed binging in another fake azz food court! You have the right to a home-cooked meal! If you cannot afford A Wife, A Private Chef, A 5-Star Restauranteur or #TheColoredWomensEatingClub, one, though likely of lesser skill (your child, your roommate or your girl/boyfriend, aka a pubic defender) can be very willingly appointed, if you treat’m right, aka, cough up a little bit of cash (weekly allowance, timely rent, really good nookie for dinner & a movie) and, and, it won’t hurt to offer to clean up some dang time!
So, you see, either way, you pay; so, YOU BEST BE GOOD TO YOUR WIFE and she just might cook you a real, honest in goodness meal sometime. Besides, well, we women so busy making the money these days, just hire a private chef; heck, at least spring for a personal chef, costs a lot less than takeout on a regular, and then let the fresh-cut, oven-baked chips fall where they may!
And before your grown azz go doing something stupid, like complaining to your momma to cook for you (when your wife can’t or won’t), essentially jump’n, uh, uh, bail, a reminder that the grass is only greener because...HE PAYS! Aeration costs! You gotta pay to be The Boss!
Having said, my hope is that all what I do will somehow delight and inspire you, while allowing me to sustain my way of MadlyGiving, too! So, well, but, you gotta pay! —HospiTalent Mariby Corpening
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UPCOMING EVENT - The Colored Women’s Eating Club - https://www.maribycorpening.com/thecoloredwomenseatingclub - THE SCENE OF YET ANOTHER OF MY CULINARY HIGH CRIMES!
HosptTalent Mariby Corpening Presents
General Tsao’s Chicken
A RETURN TO THE SCENE OF THE CULINARY CRIME
Descriptions, Recipes & Images by Mariby CorpeningTM